I lied. This is the last post. After this, you can hear about my journey at Tammy's Journey. I decide to post our IVF protocol in hopes that it will helps someone who is going through the IVF process.
Our IVF protocol and schedule:
September 6: CD 1.
September 8: Start BCPs. FSH and estradiol. FSH is a little high. Continue BCPs through September 24. Chiropractic adjustment.
September 15: Acupuncture.
September 18: Acupuncture and chiropractic adjustment.
September 21: Start Lupron 20 units. Continue through September 30.
September 22: Acupuncture.
September 25: Acupuncture.
September 29: Acupuncture and chiropractic adjustment.
September 30: Estradiol and ultrasound. Everything looks good. 8 follies on the right and 5 on the left.
October 1: Lupron 5 units every morning. Continue through October 16 (day of retrieval).
October 3: Start Menopur 75 units (through October 14) and Follistim 225 units daily.
October 5: Estradiol drawn. Good at 47. Instructed to continue same doses.
October 6: Acupuncture and chiropractic adjustment.
October 7: Estradiol and ultrasound. 3 follies on the right, largest 10 mm. 5 follies on the left, largest 8 mm. Most are 7-8 mm. Instructed to increase Follistim to 300 units to try to speed the process up and continued on that dose through October 13.
October 9: Estradiol and ultrasound. 8 follies over 10 mm, largest 16 mm.
October 11: Estradiol and ultrasound. Largest were 20 mm and 8 were 14 mm.
October 12: Estradiol and ultrasound. Quite a few more from day before.
October 13: Estradiol and ultrasound. Lots of follies. Could have as many as 11 mature eggs. Acupuncture and chiropractic adjustment.
October 14: HCG shot at 9:30 p.m.
October 16: Egg retrieval at 9:30 a.m. Retrieved 12 eggs. 9 were mature.
October 18: Only 4 fertilized out of the 9 (below average) and did not start dividing which they should have.
October 19: None of the eggs continued to divide. Transfer is cancelled.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Talked to the doctor
***After this post, I won't be posting on here for awhile until if/when we do another IVF cycle. I will continue posting on my other blog at Tammy's Journey. Please join me there! Thanks!***
Our doctor called today and the first thing he said was "This is a disaster". Of course, that wasn't what I needed to hear and the tears just flowed. He said this is very uncommon and, although he has seen it before, I am the first this year and he sees a lot of patients. He was very, very compassionate and apologized several times for not "being there for me" (he was out of town last week).
Basically because of the sperm situation....that I don't wish to go into detail here....chances are there is a problem with my eggs. I have to undergo some genetic testing that I won't know the results about for about a month. If we do decide to do IVF again, the soonest we would be able to do it would be January.
ICSI (where they insert the sperm directly into the egg) probably wouldn't have helped. I probably would've had more fertilize, but the fact that they didn't divide means there is something seriously wrong. We will be checking on the sperm, but most likely it's me.
The fact that I responded so well to the meds, had a good number of eggs retrieved and a good number of mature ones (9), leads more to the fact that there was something wrong with my eggs where only 4 fertilize but won't go anywhere. Based on stats, more than 4 should've fertilized anyway.
This could explain why some months I felt something happen but it was a BFN. It could be fertilizing, but not going anywhere beyond that. I always felt there was a reason...just didn't want to hear this.
Why us? Why did we have to get this road block?
Our doctor called today and the first thing he said was "This is a disaster". Of course, that wasn't what I needed to hear and the tears just flowed. He said this is very uncommon and, although he has seen it before, I am the first this year and he sees a lot of patients. He was very, very compassionate and apologized several times for not "being there for me" (he was out of town last week).
Basically because of the sperm situation....that I don't wish to go into detail here....chances are there is a problem with my eggs. I have to undergo some genetic testing that I won't know the results about for about a month. If we do decide to do IVF again, the soonest we would be able to do it would be January.
ICSI (where they insert the sperm directly into the egg) probably wouldn't have helped. I probably would've had more fertilize, but the fact that they didn't divide means there is something seriously wrong. We will be checking on the sperm, but most likely it's me.
The fact that I responded so well to the meds, had a good number of eggs retrieved and a good number of mature ones (9), leads more to the fact that there was something wrong with my eggs where only 4 fertilize but won't go anywhere. Based on stats, more than 4 should've fertilized anyway.
This could explain why some months I felt something happen but it was a BFN. It could be fertilizing, but not going anywhere beyond that. I always felt there was a reason...just didn't want to hear this.
Why us? Why did we have to get this road block?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Transfer is cancelled
None of the 4 divided. It's over. The transfer is cancelled.
Words can't describe what we're feeling.
I have to lay low....I'm sorry I can't be more supportive right now. I need a break from the board. Please know that I will be thinking of you all and praying for BFPs. Good luck.
Words can't describe what we're feeling.
I have to lay low....I'm sorry I can't be more supportive right now. I need a break from the board. Please know that I will be thinking of you all and praying for BFPs. Good luck.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
No more anonymous
Sadly, I have decided to turn off my anonymous commenting ability. I wanted to keep this option open because I know a couple people like to comment who do not have a google account and I definitely wanted them to have the option to leave their support.
However, I have received a couple comments that, although tried to be helpful and informative, have bothered me. I respect everyone's opinions and information...I just don't want people to feel they have to hide their name from me. You can post it on the board or under your own name. I'm 32 years old and I can take it...I promise. I promise not to judge you and I respect your opinions.
I realize my journey has been more of a struggle than others, but I know less of a struggle than others. I'm sure there are plenty of women who have been in my shoes at this point. That doesn't mean they weren't dealing with "nonprofessionals"...it's just the luck of the draw. My IVF clinic came highly recommended and I have no regrets going to this clinic.
As much as some people don't like to hear this, I believe it's all in God's plan. He knows the right time and I trust Him. During one of my IUIs, I had the same number of eggs, same trigger shot and timing as someone else on the board. They had twins, I had a BFN. It just goes to show you that God is in charge.
This anonymous commenter stated I should be angry because of this. I want to thank you for watching out for me and I know you mean well. While I'm disappointed this hasn't panned out, I'm not angry. I know these doctors are doing the best they can and the way things happen are all in God's plan. Some will believe that and others won't...I just happen to be one of those who do.
And let's not forget, it's not over yet! They'll be calling me tomorrow. I'm just holding out on prayer along with many other people....thank you for that.
So, I apologize for having to turn off the anonymous comments. I really didn't want to do that. I want to know you and know how you feel. Please don't hide your name. I'll love you no matter what.
However, I have received a couple comments that, although tried to be helpful and informative, have bothered me. I respect everyone's opinions and information...I just don't want people to feel they have to hide their name from me. You can post it on the board or under your own name. I'm 32 years old and I can take it...I promise. I promise not to judge you and I respect your opinions.
I realize my journey has been more of a struggle than others, but I know less of a struggle than others. I'm sure there are plenty of women who have been in my shoes at this point. That doesn't mean they weren't dealing with "nonprofessionals"...it's just the luck of the draw. My IVF clinic came highly recommended and I have no regrets going to this clinic.
As much as some people don't like to hear this, I believe it's all in God's plan. He knows the right time and I trust Him. During one of my IUIs, I had the same number of eggs, same trigger shot and timing as someone else on the board. They had twins, I had a BFN. It just goes to show you that God is in charge.
This anonymous commenter stated I should be angry because of this. I want to thank you for watching out for me and I know you mean well. While I'm disappointed this hasn't panned out, I'm not angry. I know these doctors are doing the best they can and the way things happen are all in God's plan. Some will believe that and others won't...I just happen to be one of those who do.
And let's not forget, it's not over yet! They'll be calling me tomorrow. I'm just holding out on prayer along with many other people....thank you for that.
So, I apologize for having to turn off the anonymous comments. I really didn't want to do that. I want to know you and know how you feel. Please don't hide your name. I'll love you no matter what.
Our report today
Well, out of the 12, only 4 fertilized and none of them have started to divide...which they should've by now.
So the results aren't good. :( We're in shock and devastated.
So the results aren't good. :( We're in shock and devastated.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Pictures and more info about the retrieval
Here are a few pictures that we took the day of the retrieval. We left our house at about 6:45 in the morning.
Here is Mark attempting to be up and ready to go.
Once again, Mark is "attempting" to be up
Mark, me and Peyton
Mark and I. No, I don't think Mark knows how to smile....especially at this time of the morning
My mom, Peyton and I
Everything went so well yesterday. I was a little nervous at first and Mark could tell. He was so sweet and would get me laughing and relaxed. That helped so much. At one point when they had me change into my gown, Mark said "You know, we could switch places. I don't think they would suspect a thing." He can always make me laugh.
The thing that was so special was that when I first woke up, I saw Mark standing right next to me with a smile on his face. He asked me if I had heard how many eggs and I told him I hadn't. He was so proud to tell me they retrieved 12 eggs. It was so special to me to hear it from Mark and not a nurse or doctor...not that they aren't cool, but to hear it from Mark was so special. I don't remember much, but Mark said I was pretty out of it and kept repeating myself. He said I said "Can you believe it? We're going to be parents" at least a dozen times. I was pretty excited. :)
I remember someone saying that after the retrieval, they felt a sense of loss from the follies. I can totally see where they are coming from. It was a little sad for me to realize that those 12 eggs that we had seen on ultrasounds for the last couple weeks were no longer in me. Granted, yes, I know it was a good thing and I was excited....but there was still that sense of loss and a little sadness.
Overall, I was one of the lucky ones who had no problems. I was really tired and slept when we got home at about 1 until 3:30. Then I was worried I wouldn't sleep that night so I forced myself to stay awake. Then I was in bed by 8 and slept in until 6:30 this morning which is late for me. Otherwise, I had very minimal cramping and a little low back pain, so I consider myself very lucky. It did hurt a little to go to the bathroom yesterday, but not bad.
I think I'm coming down with a cold, too, which could be why I'm tired, too.
I think about our 12 eggs so much. Like a protective mother, I just wanna be there and watch them and make sure they're okay and being treated right. :) I can't wait to hear tomorrow how our babies are doing.
Thanks again for all the support you guys! It means so much.
Here is Mark attempting to be up and ready to go.
Once again, Mark is "attempting" to be up
Mark, me and Peyton
Mark and I. No, I don't think Mark knows how to smile....especially at this time of the morning
My mom, Peyton and I
Everything went so well yesterday. I was a little nervous at first and Mark could tell. He was so sweet and would get me laughing and relaxed. That helped so much. At one point when they had me change into my gown, Mark said "You know, we could switch places. I don't think they would suspect a thing." He can always make me laugh.
The thing that was so special was that when I first woke up, I saw Mark standing right next to me with a smile on his face. He asked me if I had heard how many eggs and I told him I hadn't. He was so proud to tell me they retrieved 12 eggs. It was so special to me to hear it from Mark and not a nurse or doctor...not that they aren't cool, but to hear it from Mark was so special. I don't remember much, but Mark said I was pretty out of it and kept repeating myself. He said I said "Can you believe it? We're going to be parents" at least a dozen times. I was pretty excited. :)
I remember someone saying that after the retrieval, they felt a sense of loss from the follies. I can totally see where they are coming from. It was a little sad for me to realize that those 12 eggs that we had seen on ultrasounds for the last couple weeks were no longer in me. Granted, yes, I know it was a good thing and I was excited....but there was still that sense of loss and a little sadness.
Overall, I was one of the lucky ones who had no problems. I was really tired and slept when we got home at about 1 until 3:30. Then I was worried I wouldn't sleep that night so I forced myself to stay awake. Then I was in bed by 8 and slept in until 6:30 this morning which is late for me. Otherwise, I had very minimal cramping and a little low back pain, so I consider myself very lucky. It did hurt a little to go to the bathroom yesterday, but not bad.
I think I'm coming down with a cold, too, which could be why I'm tired, too.
I think about our 12 eggs so much. Like a protective mother, I just wanna be there and watch them and make sure they're okay and being treated right. :) I can't wait to hear tomorrow how our babies are doing.
Thanks again for all the support you guys! It means so much.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Our Flintstone Follies report
They retrieved 12 eggs! I'm not sure if all of them are mature or not. They will be calling on Saturday with the embryo report and we'll know then. That was more than they thought and were very happy with 12.
It went well. I'm just mostly tired and have a little back pain, but not too bad. I had a little cramping, but not like I expected.
Sorry this is short. I will catch up on everyone later, I promise...I'm going back to bed right now. :)
Thanks so much for all your support and prayers! It means a lot.
It went well. I'm just mostly tired and have a little back pain, but not too bad. I had a little cramping, but not like I expected.
Sorry this is short. I will catch up on everyone later, I promise...I'm going back to bed right now. :)
Thanks so much for all your support and prayers! It means a lot.
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